Hedwig and the Kids of Riverdale High
I hate how much I love this
This is my review of Hedwig and the Angry Inch, a show I have never seen or listened to except for maybe a Tony’s performance I don’t remember. I will be critiquing this show through the most reliable of forums:
I’m going to watch the teens of Riverdale High preform it’s songs on their new musical episode.
Please don’t all thank me at once.
- Literally less than 30 seconds in and Jughead is singing. Okay
- Wicked Little Town is eerily perfect for Riverdale and I’m not sure if this bodes well for the rest of the episode
- Truly wild that a whole plotline was Archie being a singer and he is…. the worst of the group
- Are all the songs in Hedwig this dour?
- It’s important to me that you know Kerr Smith is playing their principal right now and I do believe this exists in the same universe as Dawson’s Creek (Jen Lindley’s child for sure attends Riverdale High) because it is extremely on brand for Jack McPhee to deny a student the right to preform Hedwig because it’s too risque
- Veronica is a high school senior who waitresses at Pops, owns the speakeasy under Pops, started an off beat gentlemen’s club and also a rum business
- Oof Random Number Generator does NOT work for me. I cannot figure out how this song fits into the actual musical either. I’m confused
- Also who assigned these people their numbers, Toni is NOT a 17.
- Is Riverdale High a hot mess in the comics too?
- Why is Lili Reinhart on this show? She is so so good it’s honestly out of place
- Tear Me Down is FUNNNN!!! This feels like what I expected from Hedwig?
- Also, KEVIN AND ARCHIE! KEVIN AND ARCHIE! KEVIN AND ARCHIE!
- Archie naming his band The Archie’s without asking a single member is the most on brand move of all time
- Cole Sprouse is apparently a huge Hedwig fan and that seems appropriate
- I would die for Queer Queen Cheryl Blossom
- Sugar Daddy slaps?
- Remember when Hiram had Archie sent to jail? Where Archie proceeded to start a riot by…… insisting they have a football game? I love this show
- Okay Cole Spouse yes come through with the vocals and the ANGST
- I’m crying because Fred Andrews/Luke Perry is gone and fuck
- This season is going to end up as the one where KJ is the least hot (and that is a feat) but his hair is bizarre right now?? I miss prison Archie
- The Origin of Love is my favorite song so far
- Wait oh no……….
- WHAT?????!!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!
- I’m keeping this relatively spoiler free but holy crap
- But also, by including what is essentially a major plot point, we have completely diverted from the Hedwig-ness of this? It is no longer about Kevin being silenced by Jack McPhee
- Using this commercial break to read how the heck this came be via Rolling Stone
- I feel like Midnight Radio is probably a barn raiser but it’s just…. not working. The call out of everyone names has me cringing but this is Riverdale so that isn’t shocking
- The Archies are the Beatles now
- Sometimes I genuinely forget all of these people are in gangs
- Riverdale would end a musical episode on the scariest scene of this damn season
I don’t know what Hedwig could possibly be about so on that level, this failed… but on every other level all of you should watch Riverdale and send me your thoughts on this outrageously ridiculous show