Is it technically the first time? Maybe not exactly. But I’ve never purposefully watched the the first two HOME ALONE movies. I have seen glances or caught 10 minutes at a time while channel surfing back in the day, but I’ve never properly watched it. So I watched HOME ALONE and just wrote down all my thoughts.
Enjoy?
- Chris Columbus, director of Stepmom, directed this??
- Wait. So Uncle Frank has an apartment in Paris, but he’s in Chicago and now they’re all going to Paris? Is there another uncle?
- Why are they so rich, though?
- I feel like the scary furnace bit negates the very real danger Kevin is actually in. Sure, it sets us up to believe he is scared easily, but it also creates this sense that all the danger is mythical but men are trying to kill him
- If the bad guys aren’t caught because of this damn statue in the front driveway, why are we seeing people hit it so much?
- The Culkin’s are a gift.
- I read somewhere that Chris Columbus used a picture of a boy so no girl would feel bad about the line “Buzz, your girlfriend woof” which is odd considering he could’ve just not used the fucking line.
- Method acting is a scam and the fact that Joe Pesci felt the need to go method in a glorified children’s film is reason enough to outlaw it. He bit a kids finger for gods sake.
- Where do the McCallisters fall on the alignment system for forgetting a whole child? Chaotic neutral? Their general lack of chill as a family is truly upsetting and they’re to blame for their own failure, but Mom does try and figure it out… she also shoved her son into the attic so I’m torn.
- Maybe they’re so rich because they have no friends to spend money on based on their inability to contact a single living person to go get Kevin.
- These parents left their HORRIBLE children ALONE in coach? Those poor passengers, my god. I take it back they’re chaotic evil.
- Are cops trash? Yes. But the people who work 911 are treasures who do want to help. The idea that CPD wouldn’t care if a rich white family was in crisis is ridiculous??
- I was recently stranded in Detroit for a night because of winter nonsense and I am triggered.
- Oh there IS another uncle. But wait. Did they really plan a trip to Paris for like 3 days?
- Kevin has enough money to go to the grocery store but he gives the pizza guy less than a $1 tip…. really his parents cheap ass child.
- I used to travel around Christmas a lot, and while it is a cut throat time for many reasons, the idea that NO ONE would sympathize with or happily trade flights with Mrs. McCallister is wild.
- The McCallisters didn’t even decorate for Christmas? At all? Did they bring presents to Paris or was this a no gift zone?
- Am I allowed to like John Candy? My go to google search when I am unsure if I can enjoy a person is “Name + the word scandal” (it’s safe to like John Candy).
- Kevin is simultaneously incredibly street smart and incredibly not. My guy, why are you just up and leaving your house all the time? Use it as a fortress or run away for good.
- Talent beyond his years in this one reaction shot. Give him the Oscar.
- I would die for Marley and I’m emotional about it.
- I fucking LOVE Carol of the Bells. Inject it into my veins. Play it at my funeral even if it’s the middle of summer. That shit hits different.
- By my count, they have already robbed 4 houses, are they REALLY willing to die or kill a child to rob this one?
- Okay, the torture is a bit much but they keep coming for him so…
- I always cry when I hear Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas” for no reason I can think of.
- The cops have been called on burglars. A small child was victimized for days and NO ONE has explained to him where his family is?? He is just….. existing in this empty house still????
- “Kevin! It’s good to see you” says Kevin’s father who has not been able to locate or speak to his 8 year old son stranded alone a country away for the last handful of days… sure.
- Marley is the only good thing.
And that. Is. That? Should I watch the second movie and just look up which parts I have to skip to avoid that awful man? Is it the same plot but with Tim Curry this time?